Intimate Moment with Judas

Gire paints a vivid picture of this "intimate" moment but it's all smoke and mirrors. No one know why Judas did what he did, whether (as Gire suggests) out of practicality, or a misguided attempt to force the coming of the Kingdom (as has been suggested in other writings). There is the theory that Jesus chose Judas to betray him, because Judas was the disciple Jesus could trust in crunch time. When Judas threw back the thirty pieces of silver, once Jesus was convicted and sentenced, that implies (to me) there was a lot more going on inside him than greed. Yet John's Gospel makes him out to be a liar and a thief. I'm not convinced.

And Judas was not the only betrayer in this group of twelve. Peter denied Jesus three times on that crucial night... talk about practicality. And the others disappeared into the woodwork. Only one disciple (supposedly John) and the women stuck by the Lord at his crucifixion. Not much to gloat over there.

Yet the name Judas has come down through the ages as cursed. Nobody says "Let's name our child Judas if he's a boy!!"
There are two versions of Judas' death in the Bible too. In one, he hangs himself. Again, we don't know why. Grief, guilt, despair... I tried to kill myself. (Long story) and it was a long time ago. For me, it was the (seeming) futility and pain of living that sent me over the edge. Because of a strange twist of circumstances, I didn't die (obviously) and came to understand it was out of my hands. There was work God required of me... I wasn't getting off that easily.

Yet Judas was allowed to end his misery immediately. Some will say his eternal misery was just beginning. Again... we don't know that. God knows.