An Insightful Moment at the Treasury

I think about this story quite a bit. It has come back to my attention over and over again throughout this past year. I never realized this story took place at this time in Jesus' ministry - so close to the end - but this story has probably taught me more about faith than any other story in the bible.

We hear about people who are lame or blind or who have leprosy and Jesus heals them because they ask Him to. I admit, it takes a certain level of faith to ask someone you've never met to heal you. Plenty of charlatans have probably come and gone before these people so it must have taken faith to try again and again. But - was it faith in Jesus or was it just desperation? Knowing that Jesus could see inside their hearts makes me believe He healed those who truly understood He was the Messiah and who then stepped out inside that faith.

They asked - they received. That's pretty cool.

But this...

This is on a whole other level.

This woman didn't ask Jesus for anything although, let's face it, being a widow with nobody to help support her, she was probably at a huge disadvantage compared to others. This woman is one of the few that are spoken of in the Bible where their faith is with them whether Jesus is on his way into town or not. Her faith just IS. As far as we can tell in this story, she never even knew Jesus was there or that He was watching her. She didn't throw in those last two cents of hers so He would see her faith and then help her. She did it because she her faith WAS that strong and she knew that her heavenly Father would (somehow) meet her needs.

Many of the stories we have reviewed here have left a mark on me. Many of them helped to build up my understanding about Jesus and even help me to grow in my faith. But this one inspires me - it really does. I hope some day I am like this woman - so totally sure that God will be there for me that I can throw my last two cents in the collection plate and be okay with that.

And here's how I know I'm not there yet...

Last week I had several medical bills all come due at once. Two of the blood work ups and the 20% copay for the echocardiogram all came due and I, not having had any problems with money lately, paid them all...then sat down and balanced my checkbook. I found I had about $30 to live on until this Thursday and I hadn't been to the grocery store in a week. When Sunday rolled around, it was the very first time since I've attended church that I didn't put anything in the offering. Not even a single dollar. I was too afraid I wouldn't have enough. I knew that, come this next Sunday, I could easily double my offering and it would be no big deal - I'd be right back on schedule with my giving - but this has eaten at me ALL WEEK LONG that I was too afraid to give anything. Then, to find this story waiting for me...it is almost too much.

The irony of it all is not lost on me, God. I see that I should have been more trusting. It's not like I don't have half a dozen friends who wouldn't have loaned me an extra $20 if I really needed it. Yet, I rationalized it away and told God I'd make it up this week. The funny thing is - Satan's been tugging at me all week with thoughts of "It's only $20. Nobody will blame you if you don't make up for last week's shortage. Vacation is coming and you need it for better things than dropping it in the collection plate."

Not only did I not trust God to get me through - I left the door open for Satan to get his toe back in as well. Believe me when I tell you - this is NOT going to happen again. I have so much faith that God will take care of me- so why do I struggle so much with having that much trust as well? It just floors me!