An Intimate Moment with a Hemorrhaging Woman

A hemorrhaging woman –

We’ve all known one.

This one in the story was physically hemorrhaging – but how many people have we known in our lives that were hemorrhaging mentally, emotionally, even spiritually?

We all know the type…they seem to scream the word VICTIM. Every time you ask them how they are doing, the saga of their life comes pouring out all over you and it’s always bad. It’s bad and it's getting worse. Their very life seems to be dragging them along behind it and they cannot seem to make it stop. Their family is falling apart. They’ve lost their job. Their kid's on crack. They felt a lump just the other morning in the shower. Their dog died.

We give a sympathetic smile and listen as we nod our heads and inside we are screaming, "GET ME AWAY FROM THIS WOMAN!!!"

We finally break away, rolling our eyes and telling the person we’re with "every time I run into her something else is wrong in her life. Jeez…"

No, not jeez…

Je-sus.

In this moment we are the Pharisees; we are the hypocrites. We’re the unsaved in those moments when we walk away from the woman who stands bleeding before us. Sometimes I think I am so far from being Christ-like that all God’s mercy and grace won’t be able to save me.
But it saved the hemorrhaging woman, didn’t it?

And if it can save her, it can save that woman who stands before us all full of tales of woe as she regales us of her latest life disaster.

And if it can save her…

Yes, then there is hope for even me.

******
In the prayer today it said,

"How could I be so close to your presence yet so far from your power? Could it be that my arms are folded? Could it be that my hands are full?"

I realized when I read this yesterday that I have changed a lot in this past year. I think about God every single day now. I think about Him sometimes all day long – from the time I wake up in the morning until the time I fall asleep at night. I see Him in people’s smiles. I listen for Him in the wind. I sing to Him throughout the day. I wonder about Him, think about Him, worship Him.

But how often do I reach out for Him? I mean really reach out to Him? Where is my desire to unfold my arms and fill them with only Him? When was the last time I clung to Him like He truly was my Savior?

Hmmm…

It was a year ago that I cried for Him – cried out for Him – begged Him to come and save me from myself. It was a year ago that I laid down my life and asked Him to pick it up for me. It was a year ago that I cried to be held by Him and saved from myself. It was one year ago that I was the hemorrhaging woman.

Sometimes I think I miss my best friend more than I miss being close to God. Sometimes I think I would rather spend a day with my puppy than I would with my Father. Sometimes I can’t help but spend my day thinking about Him – but to embrace Him? Run to Him? Drop everything to be next to Him?

I’m so proud of how far I’ve come but I gotta tell ya – I still need to work on where God is in my life because as much as I have made room for Him – this chapter showed me I am still sorely lacking in putting Him where He belongs. I realized today that I’m still shortchanging God.