An Incredible Moment with a Leper

Is this my favorite chapter so far?

I think it just might be.

And why?

Couple of reasons, really...

I have often heard of the AIDS epidemic referred to as "the new leprosy." I had a very close (male) friend in High School named Tim. I lost contact with him once college rolled around and several years later I got word from an old high school friend who called to say that Tim's obituary was in the paper earlier in the week. My friend, who I loved like a brother, had died of AIDS and I had never even known he was suffering with the disease.

It was all very "hush, hush."

I have to say, there are only two times in my entire life that I would say "Yes, turn back the clock God, I need to do this over again" and this, my dear friends, is one of those times. I will never get over that I wasn't there to be with him as he went through all this. I know if he had wanted me to be there, he would have called. Perhaps he was afraid of the rejection. Perhaps he was afraid that I wouldn't come. I'll never really know. It sure doesn't make finding out about his death from a rumor running through our old high school group any easier, that's for sure.

Leprosy. Bubonic Plague. AIDS. They are all synonyms for another word...

FEAR.

Although, I have to say, the fear of catching AIDS has lessened for me over the years. I feel safer knowing how AIDS is - and isn't - transmitted and knowing that I know what to do to protect myself as much as one can protect oneself from this disease. No, the fear is not in catching it anymore. The fear is in watching someone you love die from it. Like the family and friends of the lepers in the story, I wonder how much I could take watching my loved one die of such a cruel and destructive disease? Would I eventually stop showing up out of self-preservation or would I have the strength to be like Jesus and love them until the very end - regardless of how they looked or how much pain they were in?

Tim is by far the largest reason I have trouble with the whole issue of homosexuality and how it is related in the bible. Yes, my brother is gay and that has something to do with it, but he's my brother and let's admit it - I'd love him anyway, regardless. But my friend, Tim? I didn't have to love him. I didn't have to accept him for who and what he was. I didn't have to mourn him after I learned of his death.

But I did.

I chose to. I chose to love him and support him and care deeply about him while our lives were crossed for a few years. Tim was my modern day test on leprosy. I can only hope and pray that had I known what he was going through while he was going through it, I would have passed the test and been there for him. I would have held his hand, held his gaze, held his dreams for him. Honestly, I'll never know. God won't turn the clock back for me to find out the answer to this one. I can only pray that when the situation comes up again, somewhere in my life, I'll be that strong. That loving. That much like Jesus.

Father in heaven, today I stop to remember my dear, sweet friend with his infectious smile and his silly laugh. I pray that he is there, nestled in your loving arms; that he knows how much I miss him;, that some day we'll stand together in your choir and sing your praises. Oh sweet Father, I ask for strength to love the unloveable, care for the unmentionable, and love the lost and lonely while I am here on earth. Shower me with your love and grace, Father, so that I might overflow onto others who need it even more than I do.

In Jesus name, I pray.
Amen.