The Longwinded Life and Times of His Singer (Chris)

Having been threatened within an inch of my cyber life by HeyJules, I have decided to "get my butt over here and post" my history. After all, one must have a cyber life in order to blog, and without blogging, is there really life?

But I digress...

My name is Chris, for those of you I haven't yet met. Pleased to meet you! I'm 49, the mother of 3 and stepmother of 2. We have 2 grandchildren ( I know, I know...I'm FAR too young to be a grandmother...I look SO VERY young...almost a chlid myself) and a miniature poodle named Lizzie. The three "yours and mine" are all older (34, 30 and 30) and will all be married after the last one bites the bullet Labor Day weekend. The "ours" are 14 and 12.

I work for a well-known nonprofit as an administrative assistant. I love my job. I believe God put me in this position, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I can say this only because I suffered through over 25 years of jobs I didn't like and wasn't meant to do before actually asking God what He thought about where I should be, then leaving the driving up to Him. He found me the one position I have ever been truly happy with. Funny how that works.

OK, now for the strange part.

I grew up in an "independent, fundamental, Bible-believing Baptist church" where I was made to feel as though nothing I was or ever could be was ever right or good or loved by God. I felt as though God was THE CONDEMNER instead of the loving Father I know Him to be now. Please don't get me wrong...not ALL churches of this faith are that way. Just the one I happened to grow up in. Consequently, I grew up in fear. Fear that if I didn't wear the right thing or speak the right lingo or act just the right way, I'd be less than what God wanted. And we all know if you're less than what God thinks you should be, you might as well forget about it, right?

At least that's what I thought.

So I rebelled and went the other way. Got into men, alcohol, etc., etc., etc. Then I made friends with a really sweet man named John. John and I became best friends in short order. We had many of the same interests, liked the same food, people, music, and we both had a killer sense of humor! Then, after I'd known him for a year or so, John started acting as if something was really bothering him. When I asked him about it, then pushed for an answer, he finally spilled the beans and told me he was gay. I was so relieved to hear that, because I thought he had some sort of fatal disease or something and was going to die! From then on our relationship was closer than before. I truly loved him, and I do to this day.

Now here's the strange part...don't freak out on me.

John invited me to go to church with him. Now, having been unchurched since I was a teen, I was a little leery. I didn't want to get into the same trap I'd been in before. John assured me it wasn't anything like I was used to, so I decided to go. He was SO right.

We went to a gay and lesbian church here in the city.

Talk about your unique experiences! John sang in the choir, so I was left to sit by myself in the congregation. While I was there, such an amazing spirit of love came over me that I was unable to describe it. I started crying uncontrollably and was unable to stop. I truly feel God Himself touched me while I was there and told me that I was loved...just as I was, warts and all. I'd never felt that before, either at home or at church or at any other point or place in my life. But I did there. In the middle of a place I'd never expect it.

Funny how God works sometimes, huh?

From there I went home and God and I had some serious talks. I ended up accepting Him as my only Lord and Savior that day, October 5, 1981. I started attending a church that believed in the LOVE of God rather than condemnation. And although there have been setbacks along the way, some major, some minor, I now know without a shadow of a doubt that this one thing is true...Jesus is the Lord of my life.

And that was just the beginning...