Silence

prophets yell because
their hearts are on
fire.

they scream at the world
trying to wake us up.
they can’t help
it.

after all,
God is in their throats.

This chapter hit me at just the right time as I’m about halfway through the Old Testament and the underlying theme of the Israelites turning their back on God over and over and over again is simply making me crazy! Then I realize that it’s my story, too. I’ve walked away from God over and over and over again – I just like to think of it as being something OTHERS do and not me because I can’t live with myself each and every time it happens.

For a good solid year I’ve had God bouncing around in my head on a daily basis. Every thought, every action, every desire was something that seemed to come straight from Him. We’ve gotten to know each other quite a bit better over the past year during our long talks and midnight prayer sessions. Recently, though, things have quieted down and I have found myself wondering, "Where did God go?" It hasn’t really bothered me but it has been a noticeable absence since the past 12-15 months were so filled with Him every where I went.

What’s been really odd, though, is that it hasn’t really worried me. I know He’s still around and that He loves me and is watching over me so I haven’t abandoned my faith and run screaming into the night hollering, "God where ARE you?" He might be quiet – but He’s still here.

Then, Sunday, as I was sitting in church, everything that’s been on my mind over the past couple of weeks all came together while I sat and listened to pastor give his weekly message. It got to the end of the service and God revealed to me why certain things and people have been on my mind and I started to smile. My heart lit up like He had lit it on fire again and I sat in my chair, tears rolling down my face.

"God’s silence offers us the choice – faith or sight. We can either
abandon our faith or learn to trust in the dark. God leaves that choice up to us…You can either give up on the silence of God or choose to trust Him in the dark as Jesus did while He was dying on the cross."

I choose to trust Him - even in the moments/days/months of silence. Now that I look back on this time, I see how the silence pulled me down even deeper into my pursuit of Him and taught me how to be more quiet on the inside as I waited for God to speak to me again.

And speak He did.

"Maybe God knows that without his silences in our
lives, we will never hear the melody of faith."

Perhaps…