An Instructive Moment About Humility

This story reminds me of a time a long time ago. I think I was probably in 7th or 8th grade and I was having a neighbor girl sleep over. We were lying in sleeping bags on the deck over a star filled sky waiting to drift off to sleep and she was asking me about God.

I can't remember everything we talked about but I remember when we got done I said that we should pray. She prayed first and then I prayed and then we layed there in silence. I remember thinking, "Well, we all know God heard MY prayer over hers because I actually go to church and she doesn't."

Thank heavens I was young and naive at the time and have since repented for this thought or I would probably be wallowing in the pit right about now...

It dawned on me tonight as I was thinking about this chapter on humility how almost everything we are expected to "be" as a Christian goes totally against what society deems important. Oh you can BE humble and every once in a while you may win a "good citizen" award, but you sure aren't going to be worshipped by millions like Brad Pitt or Brittany Spears. They are in the business not to be humble. Their careers depend on their being outgoing and always showing off their good looks and their talent. And, it could very well be that in their private lives they ARE quite humble - but one might have trouble buying that. I know I probably would.

I feel this humility pinch nowhere more than when I write or blog. Seems like every time I write a really touching or profound post I get a ton of comments (okay, 10 or 12...) all touting my proficiency as a writer and my growing depth as a Christian. And every time it happens I smile because I am proud of that - and then I immediately ask God to forgive the pridefullness. I don't see anything wrong with being proud as long as it doesn't lead to being prideful. Prideful is that slippery slope we all must keep from heading down, now isn't it? Egos LOVE to take credit for things that really belong to God. It is the Holy Spirit's inspiration and words I am writing down - not my own. I may organize them well or "jazz them up" a bit but I know where the ideas come from and they sure aren't from me!

My pastor asked me one time why he couldn't leave a comment on a particular post I had put up because he wanted to tell me how much he enjoyed it. I said, "There are times when I am writing that I can just FEEL the comments that will come my way - that I know what the Holy Spirit is having me write is going to be really inspirational and that I see the danger of taking the credit - so I turn the comments OFF. It's like being an alcoholic and crossing the street when I see a bar. No harm in avoiding what you know could be trouble.

He smiled. He liked my answer very much. (And humbly, might I say, so did I.)

Being humble without being walked all over is tough. Being proud without becoming prideful is even harder. It's all about balance and keeping God at the front of our thoughts, our actions and our lives. I don't know about you all but when God is not happy with me, he generally makes it pretty well known. I try everyday to remind myself where my gifts come from and who it is that could just as easily take them all away. It seems to help keep me in line.

However, I think the one thing that REALLY keeps me humble in my life is being so acutely aware of God's creation around me. Photography helps me see that I can take the picture but I can't create the scene. Seeing a new leaf about to unfurl or a bud on a flower that wasn't there the day before reminds me how much I really matter in the world. Lord, it's hard to be humble, but I sure try... (lol)